Feeling Grateful

As I was sitting on the park bench yesterday feeding Amelia and enjoying the crisp autumn weather, tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks as I read Amey’s latest post.  She writes about their life in Guatemala, pre-cancer, and of the fateful night at the hospital when they first found out Phoebe had a tumor on her brain.  It has been two weeks now, and my heart continues to grieve with Nathan and Amey over the loss of their precious princess.  A photo of the family in happier times when they lived in Guatemala not long after Phoebe was born hangs on my refrigerator door where it will remain.  But it is now joined by another photo – the program from Phoebe’s memorial service- where Phoebe is at the hospital with an NG tube in her nose, but still smiling with great delight as she shows the photographer the phone in her hand that displays a picture of her.  It is a constant reminder to me to live in the here and now, to enjoy the life I’ve been given, and to be grateful for this moment in time, because none of us are promised tomorrow, and life really is but a vapor.  (James 4:14)

So I sat on the park bench soaking up the cool autumn breeze on my face, the sweet baby smell of my angel Amelia, and the sounds of laughter coming from Ashlyn and Abigail as they race down the slide.  What am I feeling today?  Overwhelmingly grateful.

To learn more about Phoebe and the Fair family, visit their website at atypicalmiracle.com. 

True Worshipers

Last week, I was reading in Psalms and a verse of Scripture really began to speak to my heart.  Psalm 105:35 NLT states "...Let all that I am praise the LORD."  (Emphasis mine)  Now I've read this Scripture many times in the past and often quote it from memory, but God began to speak revelation in my spirit about this passage.  Sometimes when we read this Scripture, we interpret it as giving our all when we are worshiping.  Not allowing our mind to wander, focusing on God, not just going through the motions of praise and worship.  While that is all true, it means so much more.  When we praise the Lord with our all, we not only praise Him with outward expressions of adoration, but also with our everyday lives.  We praise Him most when we live lives of obedience and surrender to Him.

This morning I picked up a prayer booklet written by my friend and mentor, Sis. Julia Robertson. In her booklet she wrote the following comments on worship.  "Being a worshiper is a life, a relationship, not an event.  A worshiper is someone you are becoming within (the interior life).  Worship is a journey and an inner (interior) process of life in Jesus Christ which the Holy Spirit is working in you as you surrender and yield to Him, so that You can become a worshiper of the Father in spirit and in truth which our Father craves" (Jn 4:23).

I opened my Bible and began to read and meditate on the passage of Scripture she had referenced in John.  John 4:23-24 KJV states "But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth:  for the Father seeketh such to worship him.  God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth."  As I meditated on this passage, the word "true" began to really speak to my spirit.  There must be false worshipers in order for Jesus to make the distinction here of "true" worshipers.  Otherwise, He could have just said, "...when the worshippers shall worship the Father..." But instead He used the word "true" to make a point.  A "true" worshiper worships God in spirit and in truth.

"In spirit" is that inner communion that we experience with God.  It is our spirit connecting with His Spirit.  It refers to an intimacy, an inner connection with God.  But Jesus didn't stop there.  He said that to be a "true" worshiper, we must worship God not only in spirit, but also in truth.  We often stop at the worshiping Him in spirit part.  We like that part.  We desire that sweet communion, that love relationship, and we often bypass the second part, "and in truth."  I began to ponder the meaning of "in truth," and God showed me that worshiping Him in truth is our obedience to His Word and our surrender to His will.  That part is evidenced in our daily lives of worship.  Worshiping Him in spirit is also evidenced in our daily lives, but the first part or worshiping Him "in spirit" is often what we associate with our corporate worship on Sunday mornings, although it is much more than that and should be a connection that we have continually in our lives.  But to worship Him in truth is how we live our everyday lives.  Is your life one of obedience, surrender, and yielding?  Is it a life that honors God and brings glory to His Name?  That is true worship.

God is looking for those who will worship Him in such a manner.  "...for the Father seeketh such to worship him."  He does not desire our false worship.  He does not care how enthusiastic we are on Sunday mornings.  It is not the outward displays of affection that He seeks.  He is looking on the interior, the heart.  Are we connecting heart to heart?  Our heart to His?  Are we obedient?  Are we surrendering our will to His?  When we connect with Him, our heart to His heart, He will reveal areas that we need to surrender, areas of disobedience, areas where we allow our own agenda to override His will.

You've heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words," and while it is good to tell God how much we love Him and express our love through corporate worship, God is not interested in our words.  He is interested in our heart, a heart surrendered to Him.  None of us desire for someone to flatter us to our face, but then go behind our back and stab us.  But isn't that what we do to our Father?  Often we flatter Him with our lips, with our "false" worship, but our hearts are far from Him. "This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me."  Matthew 15:8 KJV

Today, our Father desires us to enter into that place of true worship, worshiping Him in spirit - that heart to heart, spirit to Spirit connection AND in truth - a life of surrender to Him.  The two are not exclusive.  As we truly begin to worship Him in spirit, we will desire to worship Him in truth as well by the power of the Holy Spirit working in us.  That is when we will begin to see the inner transformation take place, and our will will line up with His will.  That is the worshiper He craves!