My heart has been heavy in prayer the past couple of days. As many of you know, I was the administrator of our church school for eleven years. In that time we had many students come and go, and I was blessed to witness God touch many hearts and lives. But here we are four years later, and my mind wonders, "Where are they now?"
I must confess I have no idea where some of the children have ended up. I have not kept in contact. Others I have been updated either by visits from students themselves, reports from family and friends, or through social media. The one thing I have observed as an administrator and even more so now as time has passed is that children, for the most part, follow in the footsteps of their parents. When they become adults and are on their own, children have a tendency to live out what they witnessed in their own homes.
If parents pursue wealth, materialism, and popularity, then their children have a tendency to do so as well when they become adults. If parents had a habit of being dishonest and hypocritical, then their children grow up to be dishonest, hypocritical adults. If there were addictions in the home, children tend to have those same or similar addictions as adults. If parents failed to give God first place in their lives, to faithfully assemble with the saints, and to seek God's face, then their children also tend to fail in these areas. I have seen exceptions to the rule. I have witnessed children who were brought up in God-fearing homes and still rebel as adults, and I have seen children that grew up loving God in spite of a Godless home. However, these occasions are few. The vast majority do not break out of the pattern.
Often times parents will send their child to a Christian school, Sunday school, or youth group with the mindset that someone else will do the job of diligently teaching their child to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might. Deuteronomy 6:5-7. Parents shirk their own responsibility and hope someone else will take up the slack, but a parent's actions often trump the Biblical instruction they receive outside the home.
Proverbs 22:6 instructs parents to "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." When you are training someone for a job, a good leader will work alongside the trainee showing him/her what to do. You do not say, "You go do this, but I will be over here doing the exact opposite." Likewise, a drill sergeant training his new recruits will run alongside them. He himself must be in shape in order to get his troops in shape.
Parents, you are training your child whether you are intentional about it or not. You are training your child in prayer, in seeking the face of God, in intercession, and in worship through your own devotion to Him or your lack thereof. There isn't any neutral ground. How can a child be expected to have his/her own prayer closet when he/she never sees you in yours? My heart has been heavy because our world is rocking and reeling. Good is called evil, and evil is called good. We are certainly in the last days, and I see so many who have had an acquaintance with God, but do not really know Him, nor are they known by Him. I can pray over the seeds that have been planted and intercede on their behalf, but I have come to realize that the souls of children are largely in the hands of their parents. God gave them to you, and it is up to you to see to it that your child makes it to Heaven.
I am very thankful and grateful for my parents. They did not send us to church. They took us. They didn't tell us we needed to read our Bibles and pray. They did it with us. As my brother, my sister, and I became adults, the decision to live for God was ultimately ours to make, and we had to figure that out on our own. But because of the Godly influence in our home, we all, along with our families, are serving God. And I do not say that to brag, but in honor to my parents and to God.
In no way is this post meant to criticize or judge. Rather, I pray it serves as a challenge and encouragement. Don't believe the lie that a child's peers or others have a greater influence than you do as a parent. Whether your child is willing to acknowledge it or not, you as his/her parent carry a great impact. If you feel you have failed, and even if your child is already left your home, it is not too late. First, get your own walk with God in order. You cannot be that Godly influence you desire to be without the power of the Holy Spirit continually leading you, guiding you, and giving you the wisdom and discernment you will need. Secondly, go to your child and confess your shortcomings. Sincerity and openness will go a long way. On many occasions I have had to apologize to my own children for mistakes I have made as their parent, and my relationship with them is much stronger because I am willingly to admit that I am human and I make mistakes. What is more important - your pride or your child's soul? Lastly, intercede, especially if your child is no longer in your home. Pray over the seeds that have been planted in his/her life. Find Scriptures to pray over your child and trust God with the results.
Dear Heavenly Father,
My heart is heavy because I know lives are hanging in the balance. My prayer today is that these words would touch the hearts of the parents who read this post, and they would be encouraged to fight for their children. Your Word does not return void. Your promises are yes and amen. You are faithful and will do all that You have promised to do.
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